The Daze of Dingman

DINGMANTICS #33: Enough (live @ DOTS) I finally got a new...

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:19:28 -0400

DINGMANTICS #33: Enough (live @ DOTS)

I finally got a new episode up! The reasons for the hiatus are, I hope, exciting: beginning next week, I’ll start featuring guest storytellers on the program, as opposed to exclusively continued dispatches RE: my own pathetic existence. I just recorded the first episode and am very excited to get it edited and posted.

In the meantime, please enjoy this week’s story! It’s a recording from my recent performance at the very excellent Derangement of the Senses show, and concerns the precise moment at which I knew it was time to give up on the whole taxi-driving experiment.

baltimoronspodcast: EPISODE 47: Going Deep (w/ WNYC’s Brian...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 15:18:49 -0400

baltimoronspodcast:

EPISODE 47: Going Deep (w/ WNYC’s Brian Lehrer)

We are joined by public radio legend Brian Lehrer, who, for reasons unknown, agreed to join us for a highly ridiculous quiz in which we force him to guess the team allegiance of various callers. Prior to that, he pretty much nails in 30 seconds that which has eluded us for 47 episodes and counting, ie: The Reason Baseball Is So Alluring.

We also offer some customarily incisive thoughts on the current state of the Orioles starting pitching corps, the legacy of The Red Baron, and Matt Wieters ongoing offensive struggles.

IN SHORT: IT’S A REAL DOOZY.

I am beyond thrilled to report that Alan and I had the opportunity to talk baseball with WNYC’s Brian Lehrer on this episode of Baltimorons. Brian’s show is one of the jewels of New York public radio, and features robust debates on everything from controversial local police ordinances to immigration reform. Brian is a nimble, sensitive, and brilliant host, and the fact that he was willing to take a few minutes to get silly about baseball with Alan and I is a memory I’ll cherish for a long time.

Additionally, I listened to his show religiously when I was a cab driver, and as you’ll know if you’ve listened to any of my taxi-themed Dingmantics episodes, that wasn’t exactly the best time in my life. Brian’s voice was a daily source of comfort, and kept my eyes open to the complexities of world beyond my dashboard. I didn’t exactly tell him this on the phone during the interview because I was busy swooning and barely being able to form words, and it’s unlikely he’ll see this post, but I wanted to get it out there anyway. Thanks, Brian.

On a related note, Alan and I would love to know what you think of the podcast, as we’ve been working extra-hard lately to bring you great guests and more carefully-curated content. Drop us a line at baltimoronspodcast@gmail.com with any feedback—we’d really appreciate it. Thanks, as always, for tunin’ in!

baltimoronspodcast: ZEN MASTER GARY THORNE’S “KOAN #246” On...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:51:03 -0400

baltimoronspodcast:

ZEN MASTER GARY THORNE’S “KOAN #246”

On yesterday’s episode, we presented you with previously-unreleased audio from Gary Thorne’s little-known series of guided zen meditation recordings. Alan walked through the exercise live on the show, but we wanted to post the raw audio here so that you can experience the power of Thornlightenment at your leisure, perhaps in the bathtub, perhaps surrounded by scented candles, perhaps augmenting the experience with a nip or two of Dr. Thorne’s favorite prescription:

Hooper’s Hooch sounds disgusting, but no manner of nasty can counteract the sweet sounds of the Gar-Bear.

DINGMANTICS #32: Unlucky Cheng’s A story about the dangers...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:00:19 -0400

DINGMANTICS #32: Unlucky Cheng’s

A story about the dangers of vodka and self-delusion. Also: why it’s always dangerous to associate any real emotions with a lap dance, especially when you’re the one giving it.

Subscribe to “Dingmantics” in iTunes—click here!

baltimoronspodcast: EPISODE 43: 2013 Oriole Nickname Audit As...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:37:16 -0400

baltimoronspodcast:

EPISODE 43: 2013 Oriole Nickname Audit

As has become our yearly tradition, your ‘Morons make their way through the 2013 roster and assign nicknames to each player. As has also become customary, the suggestions made by listeners are infinitely better than our own.

Also—did you know you can find this page by navigating to baltimoronspodcast.com? And to think—you’ve wasted so much time typing “.tumblr” these last few days!

I am quietly* proud of our successful combination of D&D, Latin American politics, Asian theater, and Christian mythology with baseball in this episode.

*As quiet as one can claim to be when one publishes one’s pride on the Internet.

DINGMANTICS #31: Bench Mischief In which I learn that looks can...

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:04:10 -0400

DINGMANTICS #31: Bench Mischief

In which I learn that looks can be deceiving…but usually aren’t. This is another excerpt from a live performance of The Taxi Tapes, a collection of stories from my days as a cab driver.

If you listen to and enjoy Dingmantics, please consider leaving a review/comment in iTunes—it would be most helpful to me and the show. Thanks!

Names that aren't quite Channing Tatum

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 19:06:53 -0400

daveshumka:

Tanning Chatum

Charming Taintbomb

Pâté Wingspan

Lady Chatterley’s Drainbung

Tranny Shamewang

Shammy Diphthong

Tuning Forkman

Fanny Manhunt

Fleming Chaisson

Chauncey Trachea

Chevy Chase-um

Chummy Timtams

Charlotte Trumpston

Thad Catfat

Saxby Chambliss

Henning Mankell

So very good.

BALTIMORONS: 2012 Oriole Outcasts: Where Are They Now?

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 11:23:30 -0400

BALTIMORONS: 2012 Oriole Outcasts: Where Are They Now?:

baltimoronspodcast:

The O’s rostered a number of MLB castaways and roustabouts in 2012, some of whom miraculously played in the big leagues for the club without derailing its already-improbable playoff run. Sadly, of course, all fairy tales must come to an end, and today Baltimorons checks in on the inscrutable…

I wrote this piece for Baltimorons about some of the more pathetic and inscrutable members of the 2012 Orioles.

I don’t actually have a profile at Casting Frontier, but...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 16:19:31 -0400

I don’t actually have a profile at Casting Frontier, but even if I did, I have a hard time believing I’m a “3 star match” for this role. If anyone from CF is reading this: it would appear the ol’ algorithm needs a tweak, fellows.

Jennifer and I both had a lot of work to do this weekend, so...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:00:31 -0400

Jennifer and I both had a lot of work to do this weekend, so naturally we elected to spend an absurdly long time designing cover art for our cat’s imaginary folk album.

baltimoronspodcast: “The SABRwocky” (as aired on ep. 42 of...

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:12:02 -0400

baltimoronspodcast:

“The SABRwocky” (as aired on ep. 42 of Baltimorons)

‘Twas xFIP, and the LOOGY toves
Did WHIP and wOBA in the wabe:
All BABIP were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the replacement level pitcher, son!
The WAR that dips, the K/9 to match!
Beware the high SIERA, shun
The skewed park factor trap!

He took his VORPal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome ISO he sought—
And placing “P” twixt “O” and “S,”
Did draw his laces taut.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
Did PECOTA, with its measures tame
Sink the hopes of he and all
In Pythagoras’s name!

One, two! One, two! Nine innings through
The VORPal blade did wave and hack!
His UZR was weak, it’s true;
His OBP did lack.

Yet hast thou eclipsed PECOTA, son?
Come to my arms, my WARPish boy!
O TrueAvjous day! FR! AA!
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas xFIP, and the LOOGY toves
Did WHIP and wOBA in the wabe;
All BABIP were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

With apologies to Lewis Carroll.

(img: twainquotes.com)

We got a Tumblr up and running for Baltimorons! Dig on it if you enjoy nonsense in the vein of the above nonsense.

moth-stories: Good game, The World! Well played. Round two of...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:42:23 -0400

moth-stories:

Good game, The World! Well played.

Round two of the Public Radio March Madness is go!

This American Life vs Car Talk looks to be a wild one, but you gotta figure The Moth walks all over AirTalk. I like Snap as an underdog against ATC, and you love to see a pair of veterans like Prairie and Fresh Air lock horns—America’s ears win either way as far as that one is concerned.

~~How…is this being decided exactly?~~ Vote here!

A thoroughly groovy time on Baltimorons this week as Alan and I...

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 14:14:17 -0400

A thoroughly groovy time on Baltimorons this week as Alan and I are joined by Dodger fan and fellow podcaster Jeremy Dorn, co-host of the “3 Up 3 Down” podcast. We also:

Gamely endeavor to resolve the Orioles’ fifth starter puzzle
Gamely endeavor to figure out if baseball has a Lebron James
Present an original poem entitled “The SABRwocky”
Answer YOUR emails and phone calls
Apologize for our customarily glaring crop of errors from last week’s show

Thanks for listening! Check out Jeremy on Twitter @jamblinman, and tune in to “3 Up 3 Down.”

In which I peeve a Soprano and ruin the song Mary’s Place...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 14:00:16 -0400

In which I peeve a Soprano and ruin the song Mary’s Place in one fell swoop. An excerpt from The Taxi Tapes live show, as performed at the First Person Arts Festival.

Subscribe to Dingmantics in iTunes—click here!

Ack and gadzooks! I ended up winning the aforementioned Moth...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 13:51:27 -0400

Ack and gadzooks! I ended up winning the aforementioned Moth GrandSLAM, and it was an absolutely unforgettable night.

My fellow tellers put some unbelievably brave and powerful stories out there-those Moth folks have created something really special and I am so grateful to have been a part of it.

Must get back to work now-so far today I have accomplished zero things, on account of I can’t stop grinnin’ and tappin’ my toes. ACK! GADZOOKS!

I am Triple McThrilled to be performing in the Moth GrandSLAM...

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:00:34 -0400

I am Triple McThrilled to be performing in the Moth GrandSLAM tonight! The theme is “The Tipping Point,” so I will be quoting Roots lyrics exclusively for my story.

(image: wbez.org)

DINGMANTICS #29: A Slow Dance This is the story of how I found...

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 17:52:00 -0500

DINGMANTICS #29: A Slow Dance

This is the story of how I found and then lost my first wife.

Subscribe to Dingmantics in iTunes—click here!

Ben may be one of the most insufferable Yankee-lovers I know,...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 14:45:34 -0500

Ben may be one of the most insufferable Yankee-lovers I know, but he’s not above a little gallows humor, and I appreciate that.

The Big Four-Oh

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 14:48:00 -0500

The Big Four-Oh:

Fine times on today’s episode of Baltimorons!

First, another edition of “Alan Tries To Guess What Sam Is Talking About,” followed by a new segment entitled “Baseball Prospectus Pours Cold Water On Your Hopes And Dreams.”
Next up, a great interview with Jays blogger April Whitzman, one of Sam’s fellow finalists for the 2013 MLB Fan Cave.
Lastly, Intern Scotty fact-checks our last episode, and we share some listener email which posseses lyrical beauty fit to make you blush.

Check out April’s blog Jays Prospects, and follow her on Twitter (@Alleycat17). If you dig Baltimorons, please subscribe in iTunes by clicking here!

DINGMANTICS #28: The Godfather This is the story of the...

Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:24:00 -0500

DINGMANTICS #28: The Godfather

This is the story of the circumstances under which I came to be the godfather of my best friend’s son. In short, it would have been difficult for him to pick a worse candidate.

Subscribe to Dingmantics in iTunes—click here!